Chasing out the Gray

The sky has been very gray lately. And I started to feel the gray settle into my heart and soul. But I also reminded myself of truth. Beauty is everywhere, you just have to look for it. You have to try a new perspective, see things in a different light. Find beauty in all things.

I’ve been feeling discouraged with my lack of writing, my overwhelmed schedule, my parenting mishaps, my time management, etc. And even as I type that I realize the focus is all wrong, it was all about me. In my search for beauty, for light, for goodness, I realized that it is all around me. God’s gifts are always there.

He showers us with good things, with abundant life. He gives the gifts of cloudy skies with shades of blue and purple. He gives a dusting of snow on all the trees and pretty scenes in grocery store parking lots. He gives wide open roads and bright blue skies on a Friday afternoon. He gives bright sunshine when waiting for your kids in the high school parking lot after a long day of work. He gives Saturday morning sunbaths to my plant corner. He gives stoplight sunshine breaking through city buildings and dirty car windows.

He gives encouraging Psalms in the morning. Phone calls with friends. Encouraging prayer time with church family. Good conversations with my kids. Family traditions. Brisk long walks. Warm hats and mittens. Good food. Laughter.

It’s so easy for me to get discouraged in the long winter months. It’s seems easier to focus on the negative, the early dark hours, the hard and challenging moments, the mistakes of myself and others. It’s easy to be critical and complain. But it’s also surprisingly easy to take five minutes and count your blessings. To ask God to open your eyes to His good, good gifts. To stop and reflect on God’s love and faithfulness. To remember that His grace is greater than all I am struggling with.

“I will sing about the Lord’s faithful love forever. I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations with my mouth” (or with my pen). “Happy are the people who know the joyful shout; Lord, they walk in the light from your face” Psalm 89:1,15.

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; proclaim his deeds among the peoples. …tell about all his wondrous works! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his face always” Psalm 105:1-2,4.

Share His Love.
Proclaim His Faithfulness.
Give Thanks.
Lean on His Strength.
Walk in His Light.
Seek His Face.
Rejoice in the Lord.

#Psalms #ChasingOutTheDark #1000gifts #ChooseJoy #JesusOnlyJesus #theStoriesBetweenUs #HopeWriterLife

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Giving Thanks on Voting Day

I walked to my polling station this afternoon when I got home from work. I love that I can do it. I won’t necessarily do it every year, but today the sun was shining, it was just over 50 degrees and it’s only a 10 minute walk. My body needed the movement. My soul needed the slower pace. My lungs needed the fresh air.

All things I give thanks for. Although now that I’m back at home, I wish I had taken the walk slower. I wish I had stopped to take pictures. I wish I hadn’t rushed out, but talked longer with one of my new neighbors, that I had taken deeper breaths, taken a different route home, paid more attention to the setting sun.

It’s November, I’m still giving thanks because it is all I can do when the negative, discouraging thoughts try to win, when the darkness overwhelms, when I feel like I’m always running behind, when I let other people’s choices affect me and my mood. When I start fretting and spend too much time looking at all the hard stuff and evil going on in the world, the negativity that swirls around me, I stop and take instruction from God’s Word (Psalm 37)

Trust in the LORD,
and do good;
Delight thyself also in the LORD;
Commit thy way unto the LORD;
Trust also in him;
Rest in the LORD,
wait patiently for him.

And I give thanks for the walk, for my neighborhood, for choices in voting, for a sticker reward, for the sun setting through the trees. I trust God with the outcome. I commit my day to Him (over and over again). And I ask Him to show me where I need to rest more and wait patiently for Him.

It’s a process, sometimes a daily battle to delight in Him, to commit my way (my future, my kids’ lives, my dreams, etc.) to the LORD. I preach to myself and I write out my wrestling (and occasionally I share my writing with you). And I keep coming back to Jesus because He can be trusted. He is always faithful. I find my HOPE in Him. His yoke is easy and His burden light. He will carry me.

#LiturgyoftheLittleThings #itssimplytuesday #ChasingOutTheDark #minisitryofpayingattention #HopeWriterLife #vote #ElectionDay #LoveWhereYouLive #givethanks #writeyourheartout

Under the Tuesday Sky

There is something about a simple Tuesday sky. About taking a moment to stop and see the world from a different perspective. Look up, look around, look out. To see the vast expanse of God’s creation and remember that He cares about individual me down here. He is creator of the universe and He is creator of me.

And take a moment to look at the sky and remember that my “neighbor” is anyone else on this whole round planet that is looking at the same sky. (Thanks @shannanwrites for teaching me that). And when Amazon fails me and I don’t get a copy of my new favorite book on actual release day, I can find joy in the anticipation of its arrival tomorrow 🤞 #startwithhello

I look at the sky for a brief reset, a respite from the overwhelming noise of the world around me, to find peace in the blue sky and whispy clouds, and changing colors of the leaves. To remember the beauty of autumn and all we can learn in this season of letting go, preparing for a winter’s rest, for renewal.

When I open my eyes to the beauty around me, it becomes easier to find. When I dwell on God’s goodness, when I am looking for His good gifts, I begin to see them everywhere. When I allow a shift in perspective, I find that it is much more beneficial to focus on the good, than to complain about the negative.

Life isn’t perfect, sometimes the skies are stormy, grief can overwhelm, and often life just isn’t fair. Some days you fight with your spouse. Some days your kids give you all the attitude or make choices you don’t like. Or you lose your job. Or a friend. Or the paycheck doesn’t make it to the end of the month. And you just cry out to God, “Why?”

And then you look at the sky and take a moment to seek His face and remember that He will hear my voice when I call. He will be gracious to me and answer me. And to stand on the promise that I am certain I will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living (Psalm 27). The splendor of the sky is just a fraction of the splendor of His glory, His holiness.

So we just keep looking up and giving thanks.

#itssimplytuesday #Skypeople #hopewriterlife #Psalms #chasingoutthedark #writeyourheartout

God’s Timing and God’s Goodness

We know that God’s Word is a lamp unto our feet. We know that God directs our steps when we acknowledge His sovereignty in our lives. We know that God’s timing is always right.

Yet sometimes God only gives enough light for the next right step. For us, the next right step is moving… and moving next month. I only had to be still and wait on the Lord. It’s causing me all sorts of emotions. I’m so excited about this next step and the opportunities it will make available to us. My heart is rejoicing over the closeness to town and how it fits the stage of life we are in right now with four teenagers. It never ceases to amaze me how God orchestrates the right place at the right time.

And yet, I will miss my front door view and my back door view and the wide open spaces. I will miss the sunrises (the few I’ve seen) 😉 and the sunsets. I will miss the burst of green in the spring, the summer storms, the explosion of leaves in the fall, and even the winter sledding. And so every morning and every evening, and almost every moment in between, I look out my windows and soak in the view and give thanks for this home that we’ve been blessed with for the last 12 years. I’m trying to hold it all close to my heart and stay present in the moment and not start missing it before I’m even gone. I’m trying to remind myself that my God knows me and loves me personally, and He will continue to show himself real to me through His creation, even if it looks different. There will still be love notes from God. He knows the promises from His word that I cling to. He knows how He created me, what I love, what I need, what I enjoy. He knows the desires He has placed in my heart and I can delight in Him and trust Him with great anticipation, because He is always good. He also knows that sometimes I need to be made uncomfortable to move forward in growth.

So He filled my sky with a double rainbow tonight, and I stood outside and tried not to cry again. And I remember that God keeps His promises. He goes before me and behind me and with me and around me. He loves to spoil His children with good things and I take His hand and take the next step.

I will have to find a new monthly spot—a place to stop, take notice and remember that God never changes, but life always does. Maybe it will be an alley, a random spot in town, or simply my front door view, but it will always be something to draw me closer to God, to remind me that He is good, He is God and I can trust Him. And in everything, I will give thanks.

“He brought me forth also into a large place; He delivered me, because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

#hopewriterlife #Hope #JesusOnlyJesus #justwrite #amwriting #chasingoutthedark #theministryofpayingattention #theministryofordinaryplaces #writeyourheartout #onceamonthspot #juliesmonthlyspot #frontdoorview #rainbow #Godspromises #backdoorview #change #mynextrightthing

10 Things that are saving my life

In no particular order, here are 10 things that are saving my life right now.

1. apple slices and peanut butter. This needs no explanation. It’s the perfect snack and it’s healthier than Reese’s peanut butter cups. And it’s easy to eat at my desk at work.

2. afternoon or evening walks: I live for warmth and sun (I hear Florida calling me). I know fresh air and exercise is good for my physical and mental health. Some weeks I get 5 walks in and other weeks I have to fight to make myself take just one.

3. counseling, therapy, whatever you want to call it. Talking through situations with someone who knows how to ask the right questions, gives good advice, pushes me out of my comfort zone with suggestions, and encourages me when I think I’m losing my mind has been so helpful.

4. Psalms. It is always my go-to when I open my Bible. David’s example of prayer and processing through his struggles has been life giving to me. And no matter how bad it gets, he always circles around until he comes back to proclaiming the goodness of God. I pray I can always do the same.

5. Nature: flowers, trees, skies, and clouds. Sunsets, birds, rivers, and all of God’s creation is so full of beauty, so full of color and variety. Our Creator created us to enjoy all that He has given us, to live life abundantly, and that includes green grass, yellow daffodils, bluebirds, rainbow tulips, white clouds, etc.

6. Hope: Hope that this is not the end of the story. Hope that hurt I have experienced can be redeemed, hope that God is working all things for His glory and for my good. Hope for deeper relationships, better community, iron sharpening iron friendships. Hope that I can be a better human, be more like Christ, full of compassion, courage. Hope that some day I’ll make time to write consistently, to live out the gifts God has given me.

7. My kids. Yes, my kids are saving my life right now. They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me think, and they make me so proud. Each one of them is amazing in their own way. They can be so sweet and so annoying. I think as they get older and I realize my time with them is so short, I panic that I haven’t done enough, I’ve made too many parenting mistakes, I’ve pushed too hard and not hard enough. but I do know that I am doing my best and I love them so much it hurts, but also I can’t wait to see what they will do as they grow up and move out and begin the next phases of their lives. I’m so thankful for my kids!

8. my morning cup of coffee, almost always made by the best husband. Some may call it an addiction, I prefer a ritual, tradition, a morning liturgy.

9. Writing in my local coffee shop. I don’t get to do it often enough. My schedule and budget do not permit, but when I do get the opportunity, it rejuvenates me. It gets me away from the to-do lists and undone, and gives me a new perspective. It reminds me how much I love writing, how much I need writing, how beneficial writing is for my soul and my mind. The coffee is great too!

10. anticipation… looking forward to upcoming activities gives me joy, helps me to survive the daily crazy of life right now. We are just over one month from the end of middle school forever, so I’m looking forward to 8th grade celebration day. I’ve also already preordered my fresh Georgia peaches from @thepeachtruck and I can’t wait to enjoy those in addition to my local fresh fruits and veggies from farmer’s market. Summer trips planned to visit our families are also on the anticipation list. Travel stresses me out and sometimes relationships (even those that share our genes) can be challenging, but they are still important. And making memories is worth the effort.

I’m a slow processor and life is extremely busy. @emilypfreeman shared what’s saving her life right now on her podcast over two weeks ago and I’ve finally gotten mine down on paper.

What is saving YOUR life right now?

#HopeWriterLife #1000gifts #bestkidsever #myhusbandrocks #writeyourheartout #amwriting #JesusOnlyJesus #Hope #writeitgirl #mynextrightthing

Renew Gratitude

His mercies are new every morning.

And His gifts are abundant with every sunset.

I used to hate autumn because I was so busy dreading that coming winter. But I have discovered that autumn is actually my favorite when I take the time to enjoy it, when I live in the present instead of worrying about the coming dark, cold, dreary winter. And lately I’ve noticed how much I enjoy the glorious beauty of a winter sunset, even though I long for more daylight. When I focus on the moment and just enjoy the glorious sky as it changes minute by minute, often glowing more radiant just before the sun sets, my heart and soul is renewed.

Paying attention is renewing. When I pay attention, it renews gratitude in my heart. My perspective shifts and I focus on what has me grounded right here, right now. I see what God is gifting me in the little things and the big things.

I am thankful for…
the morning cup of coffee and the man who makes it for me.
My girls who keep me up past my bedtime.
the beauty of the sky and the Creator who paints it different each night.
chocolate.
the Psalms.
My dishwasher.
Pay raises
Pillows and blankets
Tea
Sisters
Counseling
Writing

What are you paying attention to today? What renews you? What are you thankful for?

#hopewriterlife #bestill #renew #chasingoutthedark #Psalms #theministryofpayingattention #gratitude #1000gifts

Rest in Hope

If I don’t write about it, does that mean it didn’t happen? Or does it just mean that I didn’t take the time to process it and learn from it. I received a forced rest last week. The dreaded rest nobody wants, the one where you are holed up in a room all by yourself for a week or so. The one where (if you’re like me) you fret about work and home and everybody that “NEEDS” you. But when you are sick there isn’t much you can do about it, but try to rest.

I’m having a hard time pulling myself out of the slump the last 10 days put me in. It wasn’t a refreshing rest. It wasn’t soul-filling, body-healing, mind-renewing. Well, I suppose there was some body-healing or I’d still be in the sick room.

But this object at rest is having a hard time getting moving again. The brain is slow to connect the dots and return to what needs to be done. There is a place for grace and there is a place for a kick in the pants. And perhaps, I need to give myself a little more grace this week. So as I often do when my brain and body are weak, I stumble my way to the Psalms again and again. And I find His promises in David’s example in Psalm 16.

“I will bless the Lord, who has given me counsel, even at night when my thoughts trouble me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”

“Therefore, my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices, my flesh also shall rest in hope.”

Rest in hope.

Rest and hope all tied up in the presence of Jesus. When school goes virtual. When you get sick. When the friendship goes sour. When thoughts overwhelm. When you experience great loss. When you lose your job. When your child is a prodigal. Whatever your circumstance, whatever is causing your thoughts to trouble you, whatever you have no control over, take it to the Lord. Sit in the presence of Jesus. Put your confidence in Him.

Be still and rest.

#hopewriterlife #bestill #Rest #chasingoutthedark #Psalms