This tree feels like a picture of my life… things started but not finished. Two weeks ago we put up our tree. And put on the lights and a handful of ornaments. Putting the angel on top of the tree is supposed to be the last step. But we never really finished putting ornaments on the tree… and we kinda gave up.
And still the angel just sits there next to the tree instead of on the top. So this is Christmas.
My advent devotional sits untouched. God’s Word changes not. Jesus hasn’t moved. I have let myself get distracted, weighted down by anxious thoughts. I have been easily frustrated, carrying concerns that seem trivial, revisiting sorrow and situations that I thought I had processed and overcome.
I have tried time and time again to pick up my Advent devotional book. To light a candle daily in an effort to slow down and pay attention. To notice the moon, sunsets, and deer in my yard. I have had moments of joy, hope, peace. But then I lose my patience, I snap at my kids, I cry over iced over windshields. And I forget to give thanks in all things.
Even when I am unfaithful in hope. Unfaithful in expecting, unfaithful in waiting. He is always faithful in coming. God changes not. Jesus always comes. Jesus is always here, always near. Heaven come down. Emmanuel. God with us.
What season are you in? Is it a season of hope, expectation, longing? Jesus will meet you there. Is it a season of grief, loss, uncertainty? Jesus will meet you there. Is it a season of peace, joy, love? Jesus will meet you there, too.
I already shared this on my social media, but wanted it here on my blog as well.
God’s goodness doesn’t fit in Instagram squares and facebook paragraphs. God’s good works cannot be contained in all the books in all the world. God’s goodness is deeper than the ocean and higher than the mountains.
And if the outcome of last Wednesday night’s experience had been any different—God would still be God and God would still be good. His name is still to be praised.
Nothing changes the trauma we experienced, or the feelings and emotions we are still processing through. Each one of us feeling it a little bit different. No right or wrong way to process and grieve and give thanks, in all things give thanks.
On Wednesday night, I was waiting in the car parked on the busy city street where I always wait for my girls after youth group, scrolling facebook memories, sending one memory text of a few years ago to my son, and re-sharing the following verse:
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:”
Isaiah 26:3-4
Not 15 minutes later, I lived in that perfect peace, the peace that passes all understanding, and leaned on His everlasting strength. Yes, the timeline is blurry, the events are foggy, but I heard someone shout my daughter’s name. I looked up and saw a vehicle stopped in the road and then I heard my baby girl screaming. I moved so fast and so slow, and I ran over to her, on the side of the road, obvious facial abrasions, sitting all curled up and rocking. My eyes looked up and around, and I dashed back into the middle of the road and gathered her Bible, her homework, her glasses spread across the pavement as I was shouting the church address to the man making the 911 call, and then I was back by my girl’s side.
Her first words to me were, “But mom, what about track season?” And I laughed and cried and felt more of God’s perfect peace, even as I was sure there must be a broken elbow, a messed up knee, a dislocated hip—something out of alignment.
The first responders showed up so quickly, they did their jobs and I am so thankful. I answered questions, they put her on the stretcher and immobilized her. It was just a precaution, but it doesn’t make it any less scary and traumatizing.
I see the faces of her youth group friends, her sisters, some parents, our youth pastor, the EMT’s, the police, the young driver, and the helpers—there are always helpers. Jesus is always there.
The ambulance ride, the entrance to the ER, all the medical staff, the chaplain (who couldn’t hold a candle to my Jesus or the pastors I have known in my lifetime). Long story short, she had cat scans and X-rays and then we sat together and waited for results. They checked her vitals again—and then just like that, they were removing her neck brace and telling her she was being discharged, all the tests came back fine. No injuries, no abnormalities, no concussion, no broken bones. Just some bumps and scrapes. And we were home before midnight… not that we got much sleep that first night.
To be honest, the emotions and bruises and struggles were harder on days 5-6 than they were on days 2-3. We are still a little tender. She tried running—it hurts and she feels slow. Taking stairs is slightly awkward and the healing skin feels tight. I feel like I could still sob with relief and scream in grief, if only someone would pinch me. She and I are both perpetually tired.
But God is good and my sweet girl is healing and we give thanks for miracles and for God’s protection. We will take one day at a time. Sisterly love seemed to flow a bit more for a few days, but they will still fight and take each other for granted. But also, they will hug a little bit more and crack silly jokes. And we will remember that God is good.
When you are a parent of four teenagers, the days of living peaceably can be few and far between. When you have actually co-workers that you have to interact with, it can be hard to be peaceable. Discussions on church, bible, government, politics, community, sports, money, etc. can make it near impossible to respond peaceably. Friends, acquaintances, extended family, church members are all human just like you—prone to opinion and sin, prone to conflict. Because we live daily with other people, living in peace takes intention. But God’s Word instructs us to be peaceable.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Romans 12:18
Are you a peacekeeper or a peacemaker? Does your presence in a room, at an event, during a crisis bring peace or chaos? Are you doing all you can to be living peaceably with those around you? Are you at peace in your own heart? Where does one find the ability to live peaceably? Is it even possible to live peaceably with some people?
“But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
James 3:17
James gives us direction in God’s Word. The wisdom from above is what allows us to live peaceably with all. I know that when I am short with those around me, when I react instead of respond, when I’m feeling anxious, it is usually a sign that I have not been “observant” of the commandments of God’s Word. That I have been focused on worldly wisdom instead of the wisdom of God’s Word. I’m thankful for warning signs and for the accessibility we have to wisdom from above… if any one lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives to all men, liberally.
Perhaps the wisdom in the book of James is a good place to start. Obviously, we know the book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom from above. Paul gives much wisdom and instruction in his letters to the churches he visited. Even Romans 12, which tells us to live peaceably gives us many practical ways to live this out.
Your spiritual gifts are for the benefit of the body of Christ—Use them accordingly Love sincerely Abhor evil Cling to what is good Be kind and caring Put others first Don’t be lazy Serve the Lord Be patient in trials Pray always Meet the needs of others Be a blessing, be hospitable Celebrate …and mourn with others Work toward the same goal—God’s glory Be humble Be honest Overcome evil with good
Where do you go when you are seeking wisdom? In what relationship or situation do you need wisdom? How has God’s Word given you wisdom in the past? How can you encourage others with wisdom from above?
Julie A Wilson 