Chasing out the Gray

The sky has been very gray lately. And I started to feel the gray settle into my heart and soul. But I also reminded myself of truth. Beauty is everywhere, you just have to look for it. You have to try a new perspective, see things in a different light. Find beauty in all things.

I’ve been feeling discouraged with my lack of writing, my overwhelmed schedule, my parenting mishaps, my time management, etc. And even as I type that I realize the focus is all wrong, it was all about me. In my search for beauty, for light, for goodness, I realized that it is all around me. God’s gifts are always there.

He showers us with good things, with abundant life. He gives the gifts of cloudy skies with shades of blue and purple. He gives a dusting of snow on all the trees and pretty scenes in grocery store parking lots. He gives wide open roads and bright blue skies on a Friday afternoon. He gives bright sunshine when waiting for your kids in the high school parking lot after a long day of work. He gives Saturday morning sunbaths to my plant corner. He gives stoplight sunshine breaking through city buildings and dirty car windows.

He gives encouraging Psalms in the morning. Phone calls with friends. Encouraging prayer time with church family. Good conversations with my kids. Family traditions. Brisk long walks. Warm hats and mittens. Good food. Laughter.

It’s so easy for me to get discouraged in the long winter months. It’s seems easier to focus on the negative, the early dark hours, the hard and challenging moments, the mistakes of myself and others. It’s easy to be critical and complain. But it’s also surprisingly easy to take five minutes and count your blessings. To ask God to open your eyes to His good, good gifts. To stop and reflect on God’s love and faithfulness. To remember that His grace is greater than all I am struggling with.

“I will sing about the Lord’s faithful love forever. I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations with my mouth” (or with my pen). “Happy are the people who know the joyful shout; Lord, they walk in the light from your face” Psalm 89:1,15.

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; proclaim his deeds among the peoples. …tell about all his wondrous works! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his face always” Psalm 105:1-2,4.

Share His Love.
Proclaim His Faithfulness.
Give Thanks.
Lean on His Strength.
Walk in His Light.
Seek His Face.
Rejoice in the Lord.

#Psalms #ChasingOutTheDark #1000gifts #ChooseJoy #JesusOnlyJesus #theStoriesBetweenUs #HopeWriterLife

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In search of hope and peace

This tree feels like a picture of my life… things started but not finished. Two weeks ago we put up our tree. And put on the lights and a handful of ornaments. Putting the angel on top of the tree is supposed to be the last step. But we never really finished putting ornaments on the tree… and we kinda gave up.

And still the angel just sits there next to the tree instead of on the top. So this is Christmas.

My advent devotional sits untouched. God’s Word changes not. Jesus hasn’t moved. I have let myself get distracted, weighted down by anxious thoughts. I have been easily frustrated, carrying concerns that seem trivial, revisiting sorrow and situations that I thought I had processed and overcome.

I have tried time and time again to pick up my Advent devotional book. To light a candle daily in an effort to slow down and pay attention. To notice the moon, sunsets, and deer in my yard. I have had moments of joy, hope, peace. But then I lose my patience, I snap at my kids, I cry over iced over windshields. And I forget to give thanks in all things.

Even when I am unfaithful in hope. Unfaithful in expecting, unfaithful in waiting. He is always faithful in coming. God changes not. Jesus always comes. Jesus is always here, always near. Heaven come down. Emmanuel. God with us.

What season are you in?
Is it a season of hope, expectation, longing? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of grief, loss, uncertainty? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of peace, joy, love? Jesus will meet you there, too.

#Hope #theStoriesBetweenUs #HopeWriter #Advent #Jesus #GodWithUs #HeavenComeDown #Christmas

Saving My Life: Autumn Edition

What is saving my life right now? It can really be wrapped up in a single answer:

Looking for Jesus in everyday moments

The grass you water flourishes. The books you read, the focus of your studies determines what you learn. How you spend your time shows your priorities. What you focus on becomes clearer. And when I look for Jesus in everyday moments, I realize He is always right here with me, even when I am not paying attention. When I am looking, I see Him in every moment—good, hard, everyday, supernatural.

Writing is saving my life. As always, I do not spend enough time writing either, but when I sit down, God gives me words. And when ideas come to mind, I am trying to write them down in the moment so I can go back later. I see Jesus in the gift of writing and in the words He gives me and how those stories can encourage others.

Chocolate is saving my life—Dark chocolate of course, chocolate mint s’mores, chocolate peanut butter candy bars, hot chocolate. Just a little treat and always in moderation. God created cacao beans, God created the people who mixed the right amount of sugar with the right amount of cocoa. So yes, I can look for Jesus even in my chocolate treats.

The sky is saving my life. Once again, the ministry of paying attention to the world around you, paying attention to God’s creation, to seeing the sky and how it’s always changing, and to think on the millions of people that are sharing this same big sky. A gift from our creator, a reminder that He is intimately involved in our lives, that He cares about little old me spinning on this tiny circle He created in the whole wide universe.

And I see the sky best when I’m walking. So walking is saving my life. I wish I was walking more. Walking at least once a week is not much but it is always helpful for a fresh perspective, a little exercise, and shaking up my routine. Walking helps me see Jesus in my neighborhood, in my friendships, in the changing colors of autumn leaves.

Deep breaths are saving my life. Taking a deep breath slows me down, it stretches my neck and back muscles, it fills my lungs with oxygen. Deep breaths when life is going great helps me to stay present in the moment, to appreciate the gifts, and to give thanks to God who gives good gifts. Deep breaths when life is overwhelming and hectic helps me to pause and remember what is important in the grand scheme of things. To remember that God is present and carries us through that hard stuff.

Good food is saving my life, because good food is often accompanied by good friends and that is a lifesaver, too. Church small group, Sunday afternoon pizza, a random weeknight soup. All feed my soul and my body. Jesus is present in community and in sharing the table with others. God created us to need nourishment both with food and with friends and I’m thankful for how those things are saving my life right now.

What is saving YOUR life right now? Where do you see Jesus in the good and in the hard?

#savingmylife #autumnedition #HopeWriterLife #1000gifts #skypeople #theministryofpayingattention #writeyourheartout #amwriting #JesusOnlyJesus

Friendship, Community, Being Human

Sometimes, being human can be hard. I think that’s one of the evidences that God created us for community. We rely on each other, we feed each other, we encourage one another. We hold space, we bear burdens, we stand up for one another. We exhort, we hold each other accountable. Something beautiful happens as we share the burden of being human together (as says, @ShannanWrites)

Shannan Martin is my community/neighborhood guru… she’s written a few books on the subject and has another one coming out next week (preorder Start With Hello now for goodies). It was her book #theministryofordinaryplaces that gave me the encouragement to open my home (almost) every Sunday afternoon to mostly church friends, but sometimes strangers. She taught me the importance of finding beauty in the sky and also unexpected places (city streets, alleyways, power lines, etc). And how community and friendship and neighbors can be so many different and amazing things.

And this week, community looked like going to my friends’ house and trying something new, something “trending” — a #butterboard and Walmart’s everything bread. It looked like a $3 sweet potato pie from the discount rack and fingers crossed that it would actually taste good. It was playing a card game and lots of laughter, and taking a walk in her neighborhood. It was staying late and being rewarded with the delightful sunset.

It’s the gift of sharing 15 years of friendship and making new memories, of grieving the losses and struggles over the years, celebrating the successes, and listening to the dreams and planning for the future. It’s talking faith and beliefs, and where we’ve come from. It’s holding space for our imperfections and giving thanks for sharing life. And for remembering that friendships ebb and flow. The magic is that we are still friends!

#friendship #hopewriterlife #JesusOnlyJesus #chasingoutthedark #1000gifts #writeyourheartout

Settling in, Paying attention, Giving thanks

It’s 8pm on move-in day and I am exhausted. There are boxes everywhere, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude toward all the wonderful people that helped us throughout the day… We own a lot of stuff. So I take a moment and step outside. I look around at these new surroundings and everywhere I turn I see houses. A far cry from the wide open spaces we just left behind. And then I look up and thank God for the little love note He sends me in a window of blue sky peeking through the forest of trees. Wide open spaces of a different kind.

It’s 7:15am and I am late for work. I may live 5 minutes closer, but it’s only day 2 and I still can’t find the right shoes, or the snacks to pack in my lunch, or which drawer we put the silverware in. I rinse my coffee cup (I can always find one of those) and look out my kitchen window, and there is my first wildlife sighting in the new home. And I stop and just grin big at the deer. I will never get tired of the deer. “Won’t HE do it!”

It’s 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, and we are just returning from a long walk around the neighborhood, getting to know the area. As we come around our front/side yard (we live on a corner and I can’t figure out what’s front, side, or back), I notice ivy everywhere, and a splash of Queen Anne’s lace. And once again I am in awe of God’s creation, the way He meets me where I’m at, and how He connects my growing up memories of flowers and my love of ivy (first married kitchen theme) with present day.

It’s 5pm and in between the sounds of the evening traffic, I suddenly hear church bells ringing. And I smile. Year two of marriage found us living practically in the backyard of an Orthodox Church. I remember those bells. And once again, I am almost in the backyard of a local church, and the 5 o’clock bells are just one of the many blessings I’m counting in this new, unfamiliar place. And as these bells play familiar hymns, I thank Jesus for the gift of music.

It’s 6:30am, I am settling into routines. I take my coffee to the front room to enjoy with some morning Psalms, and the window view shows a soft misty fog and another deer sighting…. This time a doe and her fawn.

It’s 1pm and as I’m gathering pizza ingredients and prepping for Sunday lunch with friends, I look out the window again (I love the windows) and spot a chipmunk finishing his Sunday brunch. Various shells, seeds, and nuts scattered all over the stone steps, remnants of the way my God cares for the little creatures, too.

It’s 8:30pm Labor Day weekend and we settle around the Solo Stove on our new patio and light the fire, enjoy the view, and of course, roast marshmallows, and I smile and give thanks for the little things. The things that are different and the things that stay the same. The way that life is what we make of it and we can choose to focus on the blessings because they are abundant and overflowing and when I focus on the good stuff, when I shout His praises, when I pay attention to the ways He is present in every moment and area of my life, I just can’t believe how much my God loves me.

And how personal He is. Trains rumbling by in the background, sunrises and moonrises through the trees instead of over the mountain, wind chimes, shops in walking distance, the ever present squirrels and chipmunks, the list goes on and on and I give thanks.

#hopewriterlife #Hope #JesusOnlyJesus #justwrite #amwriting #chasingoutthedark #1000gifts #theministryofpayingattention #theministryofordinaryplaces #writeyourheartout #change #skyappreciationpost #startwithhello

10 Things that are saving my life

In no particular order, here are 10 things that are saving my life right now.

1. apple slices and peanut butter. This needs no explanation. It’s the perfect snack and it’s healthier than Reese’s peanut butter cups. And it’s easy to eat at my desk at work.

2. afternoon or evening walks: I live for warmth and sun (I hear Florida calling me). I know fresh air and exercise is good for my physical and mental health. Some weeks I get 5 walks in and other weeks I have to fight to make myself take just one.

3. counseling, therapy, whatever you want to call it. Talking through situations with someone who knows how to ask the right questions, gives good advice, pushes me out of my comfort zone with suggestions, and encourages me when I think I’m losing my mind has been so helpful.

4. Psalms. It is always my go-to when I open my Bible. David’s example of prayer and processing through his struggles has been life giving to me. And no matter how bad it gets, he always circles around until he comes back to proclaiming the goodness of God. I pray I can always do the same.

5. Nature: flowers, trees, skies, and clouds. Sunsets, birds, rivers, and all of God’s creation is so full of beauty, so full of color and variety. Our Creator created us to enjoy all that He has given us, to live life abundantly, and that includes green grass, yellow daffodils, bluebirds, rainbow tulips, white clouds, etc.

6. Hope: Hope that this is not the end of the story. Hope that hurt I have experienced can be redeemed, hope that God is working all things for His glory and for my good. Hope for deeper relationships, better community, iron sharpening iron friendships. Hope that I can be a better human, be more like Christ, full of compassion, courage. Hope that some day I’ll make time to write consistently, to live out the gifts God has given me.

7. My kids. Yes, my kids are saving my life right now. They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me think, and they make me so proud. Each one of them is amazing in their own way. They can be so sweet and so annoying. I think as they get older and I realize my time with them is so short, I panic that I haven’t done enough, I’ve made too many parenting mistakes, I’ve pushed too hard and not hard enough. but I do know that I am doing my best and I love them so much it hurts, but also I can’t wait to see what they will do as they grow up and move out and begin the next phases of their lives. I’m so thankful for my kids!

8. my morning cup of coffee, almost always made by the best husband. Some may call it an addiction, I prefer a ritual, tradition, a morning liturgy.

9. Writing in my local coffee shop. I don’t get to do it often enough. My schedule and budget do not permit, but when I do get the opportunity, it rejuvenates me. It gets me away from the to-do lists and undone, and gives me a new perspective. It reminds me how much I love writing, how much I need writing, how beneficial writing is for my soul and my mind. The coffee is great too!

10. anticipation… looking forward to upcoming activities gives me joy, helps me to survive the daily crazy of life right now. We are just over one month from the end of middle school forever, so I’m looking forward to 8th grade celebration day. I’ve also already preordered my fresh Georgia peaches from @thepeachtruck and I can’t wait to enjoy those in addition to my local fresh fruits and veggies from farmer’s market. Summer trips planned to visit our families are also on the anticipation list. Travel stresses me out and sometimes relationships (even those that share our genes) can be challenging, but they are still important. And making memories is worth the effort.

I’m a slow processor and life is extremely busy. @emilypfreeman shared what’s saving her life right now on her podcast over two weeks ago and I’ve finally gotten mine down on paper.

What is saving YOUR life right now?

#HopeWriterLife #1000gifts #bestkidsever #myhusbandrocks #writeyourheartout #amwriting #JesusOnlyJesus #Hope #writeitgirl #mynextrightthing

Clouds —God With Us

The sun was so bright this morning, I was blinded on my way to work. I feel like it’s been a long while since I’ve seen the sun in the morning on the way to work. I was almost too distracted to notice it. I mean, my eyes sure noticed it when it struck the windshield and I lost my bearings briefly. But my heart didn’t soak it in. My mind forgot to appreciate the goodness of the sun, the beauty, the benefits.

Like so many things, I quickly focused on the negative, I dwelled in the depths of despair, even in the overwhelming presence of the light.

On the way home, the sun was in a much better position and I caught glimpse of the clouds. I’ve been reminded lately to look at the clouds… to pay attention (I think it was @kaitlyn_bouch, or @shannanwrites —I looked, it was both). So I snapped a quick picture because I want to remember.

Pictures, even quickly taken ones, help me remember. I remember that the sun will shine again. The clouds are a part of creation and each one tells a story. Today may feel like the storms (the hurricane, the conflict, the battles, the pain, the grief) are never going to cease. And while the fall-out and clean-up from each unpleasant situation cannot be avoided, the sun is still going to shine. The blue skies are going to display the glory of God. The white fluffy clouds are gonna show up and show off.

God shows up in the clouds. Time and again in the Bible we see where God shows up—in a cloud. Clouds represent His presence and his faithfulness. He is coming again, in the clouds.

“Your mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; And your faithfulness reaches unto the clouds.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭36:5‬

And we just need to keep looking up, to notice the beauty, to keep our eyes on Jesus, to hold an eternal perspective. To remember that we all live under the same beautiful sky. We live a hard and beautiful life and it’s better together. And He is with us.

#HopeWriterLife #theministryofpayingattention #cloudappreciationsociety #HeavenComeDown #GodWithUs

Waiting for the storm

I waited for the thunderstorm to roll in this evening… I’m still waiting. I love the way the sky changes color as a storm rolls in. I love the lightning flashing, the thunder rolling (I much prefer gradual thunder rolls, to startling thunder cracks). I love listening to the rush of rain from the safety of my front window. But I’m not sure the forecast was correct tonight. Some days we are waiting for the storm to roll in… and some days we are waiting for the storm to pass.

I’m not always good at waiting. I try to distract myself. I like to plan and prepare, and know what the next step is and when it should be taken. I don’t like last minute, surprises make me nervous. I like to keep moving forward. I want to make progress. Waiting gives opportunity to rest, which I’m not great at. Waiting reminds me I’m not in control.

We aren’t talking about thunderstorms anymore.

Sometimes in the waiting we get distracted, we get discouraged, we try to convince ourselves that we aren’t waiting. We rush ahead when we should wait. Maybe you’re waiting for marriage, a baby, healing in relationship, a health diagnosis. You might be waiting to finish that degree, or get a new job, buy a house. We wait for answers. We wait for deliveries, the brownies to finish baking, the light to turn green. Or perhaps it’s the wayward child we want to come home, the uncertainty of a housing situation, the reunion of friends and family (on earth or in heaven).

Does anyone ever say that waiting is fun? But it’s in the waiting that our faith is strengthened, our hope is renewed, our love is deepened. So I look out my front door view, I remember that God is in control. I search the Scriptures to remind myself that there is hope in the waiting, strength in in the waiting, salvation in the waiting.

“but they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:31‬

“I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, And in his word do I hope.”
‭‭

Psalm‬ ‭130:5‬

“I waited patiently for the LORD; And he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭40:1‬

“The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, To the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly Wait for the salvation of the LORD.”
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:25-26‬ ‭

What are you waiting for?

#HopeWriterLife #Waiting #Onceamonthspot #juliesmonthlyspot #frontdoorview #hope #JesusOnlyJesus

Vent your Joys, not your Problems

Psalm 113:1-3  

Hallelujah! Give praise, servants of the Lord; praise the name of the Lord. Let the name of the Lord be blessed forever. From the rising of the sun to its setting let the name of the Lord be praised.

I’ve been struggling with being a complainer lately. I also feel that I’ve been surrounded by complainers lately. It is so easy to vent and whine all about the problems and everything that is seemingly going “wrong” in life. And we feed off each other. When one person complains to us, it makes it easier for us to complain about our problems right back. And while there is a time and a place to bear one another’s burdens, I also believe that we would benefit by rejoicing with those who rejoice and continue to give praise to the name of the Lord… because He has done great things for us.

I’ll go first. He has given us great things. I have a job that I love, even if it’s sometimes overwhelming and I sometimes have to deal with cranky people (hello, supply chain issues). I have four wonderful children that are not perfect, but they are mine and that makes them the #bestkidsever. My husband works hard, loves me, serves others, follows Jesus, leads well. #myhusbandrocks

I’m bragging on God because He never fails to meet my needs. I have a roof over my head, we are in no danger of going hungry, (even if the teenagers in my house there there is nothing good to eat) and I have clothes for every occasion. I have a church family that loves Jesus, loves people, and is doing the work of God’s Kingdom here on earth. I have a friend who is not local, but our drive to work is the same time as mine and our almost daily conversations are just another way God spoils me. They’ve  been a lifeline and remind me of the faithfulness of God.

He showers us with sunrises and sunsets, changing of seasons and wild life. He give the gift of thunderstorms and rainbows. So far, this summer I’ve seen the rolling hills of Western New York, the mountains of West Virginia, the Potomac River, zoo animals, a little strip of Amish country, and the flatlands of Ohio. And always, I am thankful when I come back home to the mountain God has blessed me with, with a view of our little city.

He speaks to me through His Word, music, nature, other people’s victory stories. He pursues me when I’m wandering from Him. He shows me He cares about me through bird songs, crickets and peepers, the wind rustling through the trees.

Bless the Lord and forget not all His benefits.

If He had only rescued me from sin and given me life eternal in His presence it would have been enough. But daily He surprises me and overwhelms me with good gifts and spiritual blessings.

How can you vent your joys today? How has God met your needs today? How can you praise the name of Jesus? Let’s encourage one another with good news!

#HopeWriterLife #1000gifts #CountYourBlessings #ChasingOutTheDark #EncourageOneAnother #JesusOnlyJesus #writeyourheartout

Practicing Rest

I spent my weekend doing just about nothing. I read three fiction books and it was glorious. I sat in the sun, and on the deck, I lounged on the couch, I laid in bed, and sat on a swing. My body aches from lack of movement, but my brain is praising me for the rest I’ve given it.

We spent time with family… listening to the cousins having fun (and also fighting). We feasted on party foods, picnic foods, take-out, desserts. I sat alone, I sat in groups. We went to church. I went to bed on time. I slept in. I rested.

I’ve been thinking a lot about rest and sabbath and how God created us to rest in Him and I haven’t really been doing that lately. Perhaps reading 3 fiction books in one weekend isn’t quite resting in God, but I believe that God did make us for enjoyment too. Psalms and Proverbs have been a part of my resting weekend, too.

I consider this weekend a “practice” in rest. When you try something new it’s not always going to be perfect. We practice as we work toward improvement. This is true in writing, art, baking, education, sports, even in friendships. Life takes work and life takes practice. And so does rest.

So this weekend I was given the gift of time and I used it to practice rest. Next week will be overwhelming again, the to-do list is already growing but for this moment, I breathe deeply and I give thanks for rest.

How do you practice rest? I’m learning that it is something that needs to be intentional… scheduled. And while we may not have time for a 24hr period every week, we should aim for moments or hours each week. How are you intentional about scheduling rest in your busy life?

#HopeWriterLife #Rest #Sabbath #amreading