In search of hope and peace

This tree feels like a picture of my life… things started but not finished. Two weeks ago we put up our tree. And put on the lights and a handful of ornaments. Putting the angel on top of the tree is supposed to be the last step. But we never really finished putting ornaments on the tree… and we kinda gave up.

And still the angel just sits there next to the tree instead of on the top. So this is Christmas.

My advent devotional sits untouched. God’s Word changes not. Jesus hasn’t moved. I have let myself get distracted, weighted down by anxious thoughts. I have been easily frustrated, carrying concerns that seem trivial, revisiting sorrow and situations that I thought I had processed and overcome.

I have tried time and time again to pick up my Advent devotional book. To light a candle daily in an effort to slow down and pay attention. To notice the moon, sunsets, and deer in my yard. I have had moments of joy, hope, peace. But then I lose my patience, I snap at my kids, I cry over iced over windshields. And I forget to give thanks in all things.

Even when I am unfaithful in hope. Unfaithful in expecting, unfaithful in waiting. He is always faithful in coming. God changes not. Jesus always comes. Jesus is always here, always near. Heaven come down. Emmanuel. God with us.

What season are you in?
Is it a season of hope, expectation, longing? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of grief, loss, uncertainty? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of peace, joy, love? Jesus will meet you there, too.

#Hope #theStoriesBetweenUs #HopeWriter #Advent #Jesus #GodWithUs #HeavenComeDown #Christmas

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Giving Thanks on Voting Day

I walked to my polling station this afternoon when I got home from work. I love that I can do it. I won’t necessarily do it every year, but today the sun was shining, it was just over 50 degrees and it’s only a 10 minute walk. My body needed the movement. My soul needed the slower pace. My lungs needed the fresh air.

All things I give thanks for. Although now that I’m back at home, I wish I had taken the walk slower. I wish I had stopped to take pictures. I wish I hadn’t rushed out, but talked longer with one of my new neighbors, that I had taken deeper breaths, taken a different route home, paid more attention to the setting sun.

It’s November, I’m still giving thanks because it is all I can do when the negative, discouraging thoughts try to win, when the darkness overwhelms, when I feel like I’m always running behind, when I let other people’s choices affect me and my mood. When I start fretting and spend too much time looking at all the hard stuff and evil going on in the world, the negativity that swirls around me, I stop and take instruction from God’s Word (Psalm 37)

Trust in the LORD,
and do good;
Delight thyself also in the LORD;
Commit thy way unto the LORD;
Trust also in him;
Rest in the LORD,
wait patiently for him.

And I give thanks for the walk, for my neighborhood, for choices in voting, for a sticker reward, for the sun setting through the trees. I trust God with the outcome. I commit my day to Him (over and over again). And I ask Him to show me where I need to rest more and wait patiently for Him.

It’s a process, sometimes a daily battle to delight in Him, to commit my way (my future, my kids’ lives, my dreams, etc.) to the LORD. I preach to myself and I write out my wrestling (and occasionally I share my writing with you). And I keep coming back to Jesus because He can be trusted. He is always faithful. I find my HOPE in Him. His yoke is easy and His burden light. He will carry me.

#LiturgyoftheLittleThings #itssimplytuesday #ChasingOutTheDark #minisitryofpayingattention #HopeWriterLife #vote #ElectionDay #LoveWhereYouLive #givethanks #writeyourheartout

Thanksgiving Challenge

It’s been over 10 years since I started counting the gifts with @AnnVoskamp. There have been times when it was a consistent 3 gifts a day, or the one time we did #1000gifts in 30 days. There have also been seasons, months even when I was not counting the gifts. But always the gifts are there and always the gifts are good.

I’m starting to count again… this time 1,000 gifts in just 3 weeks, which means approximately 50 gifts a day. It’s not always easy, and there will be repeats.

It’s amazing what catches your eye when you are looking for gifts. Like the beauty I found in the city skyline on the way to work this morning. Or that actually view of the mountainside from work.

At work, it seems harder to find the gifts, but they are still there. The warmth of the sun filling the office, Dropbox, when your co-worker buys you lunch.

Then there is the delightful surprise of a little dump truck strapped to the end of a long flatbed truck in the lane next to me on the way home. The text from my son informing me of the candy bar he bought me waiting for me at home.

And even though I know it means more yard work this weekend, I even found gratitude in the carpet of leaves on the patio. And the wind chimes, and sitting outside in short sleeves on this November afternoon.

The time change happens yet again this weekend, and I feel the same struggle settling in—where can I find the light when it’s dark at 5pm? I counted lots of gifts today, but I also snapped at my kids more than once, I am going to bed with a headache, and I’m letting worry distract me from some of the good I see in the world.

So I write, because in addition to a #1000gifts challenge, I am working to WRITE every day in November. And I remember that God gives good gifts and God deserves our praise. And we hold pain and joy together. And I’m not perfect and life isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty darn great when you pay attention to the little things and give thanks, and when you keep perspective on God’s plan for your life. He came so that we could have abundant life. It’s already here, we just have to notice it.

#LiturgyoftheLittleThings #ChasingOutTheDark #minisitryofpayingattention #HopeWriterLife #writeyourheartout #writeitgirl

Gray Day November

The calendar turned from October to November and overnight it seemed, the sky turned gray and dreary. I could barely keep my eyes open at work and I was in a slump. The trees still have some color hanging on, but for some reason it just didn’t look as stunning today. It rained, and rained some more. My heart and soul followed suit and it felt like depression was settling in.

It’s still autumn, it’s still pretty out, the sun even peeked through the clouds briefly, but my focus was/is off. I was tired… but I was also grumpy. And it really does have an effect on your day. Complaining breeds complaining.

And gratitude breeds gratitude. I could barely keep my eyes open because late nights and junk food and rainy skies, so I came home and took a nap… a 22 minute power nap. And then I got up and had a snack. (Thank you, Prophet Elijah for your example in 1 Kings 19). And, then I accomplished a few things and felt better.

Does my heart still feel a little off? Am I still tired? Do I want to hibernate at home instead of going to church small group? Yes, Yes, and Yes. Am I dreading the time change and more dark nights? Also, yes. But I listen to my body, I listen to my heart, and then I go to the Word of God for truth.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance.” Psalms‬ ‭42‬:‭5‬ ‭

And I remind myself, as David did. I also can put my HOPE in God. I can trust my Creator. He is faithful. He is true. His lovingkindness is always present in my life. So I look up at the gloomy skies and I pay attention to the world around me. And I know that Jesus is here in the every day ordinary, in the sunshine and the rain, in the good and the hard, in the joy and the sorrow.

And I go to small group and eat too many carbs, and give thanks for fellowship, friendship, and prayer. And as we leave, I look up and see the beautiful cloudy sky with the light shining through. Always the LIGHT shines, we just have to notice it.

Where is the light shining in your darkness today? Where can you see Jesus in the every day ordinary? Can I just encourage you to keep looking up?

#HopeWriterLife #HopeinGod #JesusOnlyJesus #November #givethanks #theministryofpayingattention #skypeople #chasingoutthedark #writeyourheartout

Letting Go of Stuff

Sometimes we hang on to stuff just a little too long. It may be good stuff that just no longer fits where we are right now in life. Like these ice pops. They’ve been taking up space in my house for well over a year! A reminder of days long past when my kids and the neighbors would be running around all summer and I would have a cold, refreshing treat ready.

They’ve been collecting dust (or ice crystals as the case may be) in our extra freezer for a while, and I just kept moving them around the shelves or door buckets just hoping that maybe someday they would come in handy for a summer party or youth group activity. But I’ve been lying to myself. Nobody remembers they are in there. Nobody really likes them on a regular basis anymore. Nobody reaches for them.

I almost threw them out on moving day (2 months ago), but thought, “Oh that will be a nice treat for the movers if it’s a hot day.” But alas, they got packed in the coolers and moved without being touched. AND they got unpacked into my regular every day freezer. It took me TWO MONTHS to finally decide that they just don’t fit and they don’t serve a purpose and I’m cleaning out the clutter.

The same could be said for the books we cleaned out for our yard sale, the clothes that no longer fit, the broken toys and kids games with missing pieces. The point is things that once filled a need, had a useful purpose, brought us joy … no longer do. And it’s okay to clean things out.

It’s also okay to clean out routines that aren’t working anymore, the job that has become dead end, friendships that have run their course. It’s okay to let go of good things that are getting in the way of long term goals, spiritual growth, deeper relationships.

I looked at this sink full of melting ice pops and realized God was even speaking to me through frozen sugar water. I know He wants me to make room for kingdom work—writing, relationships, more time in His word, paying attention to the ordinary, reaching my circle of influence.

I’ve been feeling stuck lately, wanting to focus more on my writing, but not sure what needs to be cleaned out of the clutter of my schedule. Obviously, I can’t drop my job, or helping my kids, or feeding my family, etc. but I can ask for help and delegate, and I can spend a whole lot less time on my phone and a whole lot more time with Jesus and giving thanks in all things.

“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us,”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬

So yes, get rid of the stuff that is weighing you down, confess and forsake the besetting sins, and put your focus on Jesus and how He would have you work and live for God’s Kingdom here on earth.

What is a hindrance in your life? What needs cleaned out of “your freezer” to make space for more useful, more Kingdom-minded things?

Under the Tuesday Sky

There is something about a simple Tuesday sky. About taking a moment to stop and see the world from a different perspective. Look up, look around, look out. To see the vast expanse of God’s creation and remember that He cares about individual me down here. He is creator of the universe and He is creator of me.

And take a moment to look at the sky and remember that my “neighbor” is anyone else on this whole round planet that is looking at the same sky. (Thanks @shannanwrites for teaching me that). And when Amazon fails me and I don’t get a copy of my new favorite book on actual release day, I can find joy in the anticipation of its arrival tomorrow 🤞 #startwithhello

I look at the sky for a brief reset, a respite from the overwhelming noise of the world around me, to find peace in the blue sky and whispy clouds, and changing colors of the leaves. To remember the beauty of autumn and all we can learn in this season of letting go, preparing for a winter’s rest, for renewal.

When I open my eyes to the beauty around me, it becomes easier to find. When I dwell on God’s goodness, when I am looking for His good gifts, I begin to see them everywhere. When I allow a shift in perspective, I find that it is much more beneficial to focus on the good, than to complain about the negative.

Life isn’t perfect, sometimes the skies are stormy, grief can overwhelm, and often life just isn’t fair. Some days you fight with your spouse. Some days your kids give you all the attitude or make choices you don’t like. Or you lose your job. Or a friend. Or the paycheck doesn’t make it to the end of the month. And you just cry out to God, “Why?”

And then you look at the sky and take a moment to seek His face and remember that He will hear my voice when I call. He will be gracious to me and answer me. And to stand on the promise that I am certain I will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living (Psalm 27). The splendor of the sky is just a fraction of the splendor of His glory, His holiness.

So we just keep looking up and giving thanks.

#itssimplytuesday #Skypeople #hopewriterlife #Psalms #chasingoutthedark #writeyourheartout

Friendship, Community, Being Human

Sometimes, being human can be hard. I think that’s one of the evidences that God created us for community. We rely on each other, we feed each other, we encourage one another. We hold space, we bear burdens, we stand up for one another. We exhort, we hold each other accountable. Something beautiful happens as we share the burden of being human together (as says, @ShannanWrites)

Shannan Martin is my community/neighborhood guru… she’s written a few books on the subject and has another one coming out next week (preorder Start With Hello now for goodies). It was her book #theministryofordinaryplaces that gave me the encouragement to open my home (almost) every Sunday afternoon to mostly church friends, but sometimes strangers. She taught me the importance of finding beauty in the sky and also unexpected places (city streets, alleyways, power lines, etc). And how community and friendship and neighbors can be so many different and amazing things.

And this week, community looked like going to my friends’ house and trying something new, something “trending” — a #butterboard and Walmart’s everything bread. It looked like a $3 sweet potato pie from the discount rack and fingers crossed that it would actually taste good. It was playing a card game and lots of laughter, and taking a walk in her neighborhood. It was staying late and being rewarded with the delightful sunset.

It’s the gift of sharing 15 years of friendship and making new memories, of grieving the losses and struggles over the years, celebrating the successes, and listening to the dreams and planning for the future. It’s talking faith and beliefs, and where we’ve come from. It’s holding space for our imperfections and giving thanks for sharing life. And for remembering that friendships ebb and flow. The magic is that we are still friends!

#friendship #hopewriterlife #JesusOnlyJesus #chasingoutthedark #1000gifts #writeyourheartout

Settling in, Paying attention, Giving thanks

It’s 8pm on move-in day and I am exhausted. There are boxes everywhere, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude toward all the wonderful people that helped us throughout the day… We own a lot of stuff. So I take a moment and step outside. I look around at these new surroundings and everywhere I turn I see houses. A far cry from the wide open spaces we just left behind. And then I look up and thank God for the little love note He sends me in a window of blue sky peeking through the forest of trees. Wide open spaces of a different kind.

It’s 7:15am and I am late for work. I may live 5 minutes closer, but it’s only day 2 and I still can’t find the right shoes, or the snacks to pack in my lunch, or which drawer we put the silverware in. I rinse my coffee cup (I can always find one of those) and look out my kitchen window, and there is my first wildlife sighting in the new home. And I stop and just grin big at the deer. I will never get tired of the deer. “Won’t HE do it!”

It’s 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, and we are just returning from a long walk around the neighborhood, getting to know the area. As we come around our front/side yard (we live on a corner and I can’t figure out what’s front, side, or back), I notice ivy everywhere, and a splash of Queen Anne’s lace. And once again I am in awe of God’s creation, the way He meets me where I’m at, and how He connects my growing up memories of flowers and my love of ivy (first married kitchen theme) with present day.

It’s 5pm and in between the sounds of the evening traffic, I suddenly hear church bells ringing. And I smile. Year two of marriage found us living practically in the backyard of an Orthodox Church. I remember those bells. And once again, I am almost in the backyard of a local church, and the 5 o’clock bells are just one of the many blessings I’m counting in this new, unfamiliar place. And as these bells play familiar hymns, I thank Jesus for the gift of music.

It’s 6:30am, I am settling into routines. I take my coffee to the front room to enjoy with some morning Psalms, and the window view shows a soft misty fog and another deer sighting…. This time a doe and her fawn.

It’s 1pm and as I’m gathering pizza ingredients and prepping for Sunday lunch with friends, I look out the window again (I love the windows) and spot a chipmunk finishing his Sunday brunch. Various shells, seeds, and nuts scattered all over the stone steps, remnants of the way my God cares for the little creatures, too.

It’s 8:30pm Labor Day weekend and we settle around the Solo Stove on our new patio and light the fire, enjoy the view, and of course, roast marshmallows, and I smile and give thanks for the little things. The things that are different and the things that stay the same. The way that life is what we make of it and we can choose to focus on the blessings because they are abundant and overflowing and when I focus on the good stuff, when I shout His praises, when I pay attention to the ways He is present in every moment and area of my life, I just can’t believe how much my God loves me.

And how personal He is. Trains rumbling by in the background, sunrises and moonrises through the trees instead of over the mountain, wind chimes, shops in walking distance, the ever present squirrels and chipmunks, the list goes on and on and I give thanks.

#hopewriterlife #Hope #JesusOnlyJesus #justwrite #amwriting #chasingoutthedark #1000gifts #theministryofpayingattention #theministryofordinaryplaces #writeyourheartout #change #skyappreciationpost #startwithhello

Change and Gratitude

It’s been over four years since I chose my #onceamonthspot as an act of faith because the property we live on went up for sale. Four and a half years later and it still hasn’t sold, but other things have changed and God opened doors and we are moving. So this right here is the last photo of this #frontdoorview

I have never taken this gift for granted. 12 years of wide open spaces, country living, beautiful sunrises and sunsets. 12 years of youth events, small group parties, winter sledding out my front door. Walks to the bus stop and mailbox. Sunday afternoon pizza parties, long hikes, and always changing scenery. Deer, bear, turkey, eagle, coyote, porcupine, the persistent possum, bluebirds, yellow finches, robins.

Sometimes we can’t see the light through the heavy dark clouds, and sometimes God parts them and you see glimpses of the truth that He is always working. The contrast of light and dark, of green trees and dead tree trunks, even the grass takes its turn being brown and green. When I look back through my #juliesmonthlyspot photos, I am reminded again of God’s goodness, God’s gifts, abundant life and continuous provision.

And I treasure our last family bonfire—a needed gift after a rough week of packing, and fighting over future bedrooms, of struggling with the coming changes. We enjoyed a long evening outside, keeping the large fire from spreading to the dry grass, watching the stars come out one by one, enjoying the moonrise… and eating hot dogs and s’mores prepared over the fire. And having my daughter capture us all in the glow of the flames.

And I give thanks for “the last Sunday supper” at this place with good friends that are family, of laughter, jokes, and the weekly walk to the reservoir. And long talks and photos of my favorite scenery.

We will make new memories and find new treasures from God, because life will still be abundant even when it looks different. His promises are ever-faithful, His love is never-ending, and He gives joy unspeakable as we wait with Hope.

So here’s to continuing #theministryofordinaryplaces in a new place, of #trustinggodsplan #ministryofpayingattention with @shannanwrites and remembering #itssimplytuesday with @emilypfreeman

#hopewriterlife #Hope #JesusOnlyJesus #justwrite #amwriting #chasingoutthedark #writeyourheartout #change

God’s Timing and God’s Goodness

We know that God’s Word is a lamp unto our feet. We know that God directs our steps when we acknowledge His sovereignty in our lives. We know that God’s timing is always right.

Yet sometimes God only gives enough light for the next right step. For us, the next right step is moving… and moving next month. I only had to be still and wait on the Lord. It’s causing me all sorts of emotions. I’m so excited about this next step and the opportunities it will make available to us. My heart is rejoicing over the closeness to town and how it fits the stage of life we are in right now with four teenagers. It never ceases to amaze me how God orchestrates the right place at the right time.

And yet, I will miss my front door view and my back door view and the wide open spaces. I will miss the sunrises (the few I’ve seen) 😉 and the sunsets. I will miss the burst of green in the spring, the summer storms, the explosion of leaves in the fall, and even the winter sledding. And so every morning and every evening, and almost every moment in between, I look out my windows and soak in the view and give thanks for this home that we’ve been blessed with for the last 12 years. I’m trying to hold it all close to my heart and stay present in the moment and not start missing it before I’m even gone. I’m trying to remind myself that my God knows me and loves me personally, and He will continue to show himself real to me through His creation, even if it looks different. There will still be love notes from God. He knows the promises from His word that I cling to. He knows how He created me, what I love, what I need, what I enjoy. He knows the desires He has placed in my heart and I can delight in Him and trust Him with great anticipation, because He is always good. He also knows that sometimes I need to be made uncomfortable to move forward in growth.

So He filled my sky with a double rainbow tonight, and I stood outside and tried not to cry again. And I remember that God keeps His promises. He goes before me and behind me and with me and around me. He loves to spoil His children with good things and I take His hand and take the next step.

I will have to find a new monthly spot—a place to stop, take notice and remember that God never changes, but life always does. Maybe it will be an alley, a random spot in town, or simply my front door view, but it will always be something to draw me closer to God, to remind me that He is good, He is God and I can trust Him. And in everything, I will give thanks.

“He brought me forth also into a large place; He delivered me, because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

#hopewriterlife #Hope #JesusOnlyJesus #justwrite #amwriting #chasingoutthedark #theministryofpayingattention #theministryofordinaryplaces #writeyourheartout #onceamonthspot #juliesmonthlyspot #frontdoorview #rainbow #Godspromises #backdoorview #change #mynextrightthing