In search of hope and peace

This tree feels like a picture of my life… things started but not finished. Two weeks ago we put up our tree. And put on the lights and a handful of ornaments. Putting the angel on top of the tree is supposed to be the last step. But we never really finished putting ornaments on the tree… and we kinda gave up.

And still the angel just sits there next to the tree instead of on the top. So this is Christmas.

My advent devotional sits untouched. God’s Word changes not. Jesus hasn’t moved. I have let myself get distracted, weighted down by anxious thoughts. I have been easily frustrated, carrying concerns that seem trivial, revisiting sorrow and situations that I thought I had processed and overcome.

I have tried time and time again to pick up my Advent devotional book. To light a candle daily in an effort to slow down and pay attention. To notice the moon, sunsets, and deer in my yard. I have had moments of joy, hope, peace. But then I lose my patience, I snap at my kids, I cry over iced over windshields. And I forget to give thanks in all things.

Even when I am unfaithful in hope. Unfaithful in expecting, unfaithful in waiting. He is always faithful in coming. God changes not. Jesus always comes. Jesus is always here, always near. Heaven come down. Emmanuel. God with us.

What season are you in?
Is it a season of hope, expectation, longing? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of grief, loss, uncertainty? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of peace, joy, love? Jesus will meet you there, too.

#Hope #theStoriesBetweenUs #HopeWriter #Advent #Jesus #GodWithUs #HeavenComeDown #Christmas

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Rest in Hope

If I don’t write about it, does that mean it didn’t happen? Or does it just mean that I didn’t take the time to process it and learn from it. I received a forced rest last week. The dreaded rest nobody wants, the one where you are holed up in a room all by yourself for a week or so. The one where (if you’re like me) you fret about work and home and everybody that “NEEDS” you. But when you are sick there isn’t much you can do about it, but try to rest.

I’m having a hard time pulling myself out of the slump the last 10 days put me in. It wasn’t a refreshing rest. It wasn’t soul-filling, body-healing, mind-renewing. Well, I suppose there was some body-healing or I’d still be in the sick room.

But this object at rest is having a hard time getting moving again. The brain is slow to connect the dots and return to what needs to be done. There is a place for grace and there is a place for a kick in the pants. And perhaps, I need to give myself a little more grace this week. So as I often do when my brain and body are weak, I stumble my way to the Psalms again and again. And I find His promises in David’s example in Psalm 16.

“I will bless the Lord, who has given me counsel, even at night when my thoughts trouble me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”

“Therefore, my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices, my flesh also shall rest in hope.”

Rest in hope.

Rest and hope all tied up in the presence of Jesus. When school goes virtual. When you get sick. When the friendship goes sour. When thoughts overwhelm. When you experience great loss. When you lose your job. When your child is a prodigal. Whatever your circumstance, whatever is causing your thoughts to trouble you, whatever you have no control over, take it to the Lord. Sit in the presence of Jesus. Put your confidence in Him.

Be still and rest.

#hopewriterlife #bestill #Rest #chasingoutthedark #Psalms

Slow — How Long, Lord?

Often I think that God is slow to answer the requests I bring before Him. How long, O Lord?

But is it that God is slow?

Or is it that I’m not looking for His answer?
Or as often is the case, I don’t like His answer so I pretend I don’t see it, I brush it off, I try to reinterpret.

I’m moving very slow these days. Can’t seem to find my footing, any energy, the right motivations. The mind numbing scrolling of social media, and silly games on my phone just keep pulling me in…

How long, Julie? How long will you waste your time? How long will you let anxiety dominate your thoughts? How long will you choose junk food over veggies and protein, Netflix binging over outdoor walks? How long will you procrastinate from writing, when you know that writing is what helps you process, writing is what slows the anxious thoughts and reminds you of the truth of God’s Word.

Psalm 13 hit a bit different for me this morning. So I make myself slow down in different way. I remove the distractions. I pull out my keyboard and reflect on my morning notes and I thank God for new mercies. For the gift of the Psalms when I don’t know where else to turn. For showing me that God’s slowness is an example of his long-suffering toward His children, His patience that never runs out, His faithfulness. That he delivers me and is generous toward me. That my slowness, my stillness, my weakness is God’s opportunity to deliver me and shower me with His faithful love.

#hopewriterlife #bestill #slow #1000gifts #chasingoutthedark #Psalms

In the middle of the messy story

The story is this… I thought I wanted to be a writer. I think I may still want to be a writer. But some days I can’t figure out what my story is, I can’t figure out why I want to share it, how, where, and when I want to share it. I can’t even figure out who needs to hear it.

When we tell our stories—humbly, authentically, with the intent to glorify God—it can encourage others. I always want my story to have a happy ending, I like it when it wraps up neatly with a bow. But tonight, I’m smack dab in the middle of messiness. And that’s not usually the best time to share. But here is what I do know.

Always, I want my story to remind myself, my kids, my circle of influence, that God is good, God is love, and God is in control . I know that when I have a breakdown, I can respond like David and go to the loving arms of my Father. Sometimes I ask Him, “How long, O Lord, will you forget me forever?”  Or “why do the heathen prosper?” Or “why is my soul cast down?”

And I ask these questions until He reminds me, that … “He leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul” and I can experience peace because “You LORD, make me dwell in safety” and “He rescued me because He delights in me.”

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭13:5-6‬ ‭‬‬

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭‬‬

What story are you telling? How do you combat the questions and doubts with truth? What encouraging truth in your story can you share with us today?

#HopeWriterLife #amwriting #writeyourheartout #writersofinstagram #writingchallenge #faithwriters #Psalms #JesusOnlyJesus

The Weight & Wait of Holy Week

I’m having a hard time stringing words together these days. I’ve seen some beautiful sunrises. Winds and rains have blown through and knocked down some very dead trees (there’s a lesson in that). The birds are singing, and in the valley I’ve spotted the spring flowers blooming. But my heart is still stuck in winter, my soul is stuck in short dark days. 

I’m overwhelmed with the dailyness of life.  Parenting teenagers has me questioning all my life choices. I don’t know how to re-enter life, church, family, friendships, etc. I don’t want to write, but I’m sad when I have not written.

I say I don’t have time to write, but it’s also that I’m not making the time. I look for inspiration and I come up wanting. I’ve forgotten how to look for beauty, to pay attention to ordinary things, to find hope and joy in the blessings I am taking for granted.

I think of the weight and the wait of Holy Week, of all of lent. And I am always reminded of Hope. Hope in tiny, little flowers. Spring will come again. Friendships will evolve, change, grow. Children will make me laugh …and cry, and grow. Jesus rose from the dead. God and the truth of His Word changes lives. God is faithful, even when I am not. The sun shines. Some day I will hug my friends and family again. When I don’t understand, I just need to remember God is in control. God is directing my steps and the steps of those I love.

Sunday’s coming.

#HopeWriterLife #SoulStruggle #amwriting #writeyourheartout #justwrite #ministryofpayingattention #itssimplytuesday #TuesdayYouAintCute

Take a walk and look for Jesus

I took a walk this evening. Same walk I took almost 5 months ago, when I tripped over a wrinkle in the sidewalk and bit the dust and broke my hand. It was dusk, probably not the wisest, but I put my phone away. I wore my actual sneakers. And I paid attention to the rise and fall of the sidewalk.

It’s good for me to walk again. Winter and busyness and life stress has not been kind to my eating or exercise habits. I needed to know that I can walk and it’s good for me. My hand has not returned to full strength. It still hurts when I cut too many veggies, write too many words, carry too many groceries, stir dinner soups for too long. And sometimes I’m afraid it will never be what it once was.

Sometimes, it’s the simple processing of hard moments, life-altering events, the “getting back on the bike” moments. Other times, it takes a bit more. Like when I think that exactly one year ago, I was having coffee with a friend, we talked about the virus buzz, we talked about church and Jesus, we talked about teenagers and parenting, we talked about friendship. I’m pretty sure that we did not talk about online church or wearing masks or virtual school. I miss coffee in actual coffee shops with friends.

And one year later, I think of all the things I miss, how desperate I feel to return back to life as it once was, and it’s easy to focus on the things lost, the events cancelled, the schooling struggles, the grief. But I’m thankful for the things I’ve learned and I know that God has given us much more than was taken away.

I don’t want to forget the gift of endless family dinners with teenagers, family hikes, whole weekends in pajamas, technology to keep us connected, summer outside gatherings, library curbside service, processing hard junk, being more aware of social injustice, studying Lamentations, focusing on the attributes of God, flexibility of virtual school, 4-H zoom opportunities, ordering take out, still going to work every day in a safe environment, taking the time to read more.

I’m thankful for the things I learned while my hand was broken and for seeing God’s faithfulness in the way He provides. I’m thankful for hope, because that is what this year most needs. I’m thankful for Jesus because as I lean on Him and rest in Him, I learn His goodness, His faithfulness, His sovereignty.

I stop on my walk (full stop) to take pictures of the twilight hour. I come back to the car and wait some more and write with heart full of gratitude that He is with me, He gives me words, He never leaves me or forsakes me, He is always reminding me of his everlasting love.

As you reflect on the last year, because we will all reflect in some way, look for ways to give God glory, look for all the things we can be thankful for, look for the helpers, look for the blessings. What are you thankful for as you look back on the last year? Where do you see Jesus?

HopeWriterLife #amwriting #faithwriter #writeyourheartout #writeitgirl #JesusOnlyJesus #alwaysJesus #brokenbones #takeawalk #givethanks #1000gifts #gratitude #hardeucharisteo

When You’re Exasperated

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I might be a little exasperated today. 

I love a good writing challenge, and I’ve been working on morning bible habits. And last week was amazing! I was working ahead in my writing, I was reading my bible consistently. It was a good week.

And then life happened, the oven broke, the teenagers sassed (and sassed some more), the snow was excessive, I was feeling intensely overwhelmed at work, I ate junk and more junk, and my phone screen shattered. You get the picture. My brain couldn’t settle to read one chapter of the Bible (and comprehend it). My fingers refused to type out words that the mind couldn’t string together. I yelled at my kids while telling them to stop yelling. Grief is hovering in my thoughts and I’m tired.

Exasperated. Frustrated. Focused too much on the material, the immediate, the flesh. Worrying about the schedule and the days ahead and a million what-ifs. Letting the lies in my head speak louder than the truth of God’s Word.

Full Stop. I have a choice. I can take these thoughts captive with the power of the Holy Spirit and the knowledge of the Word of God and the example of the life Jesus Christ lived.

Jesus took time and went away from the crowds and chaos to meet with His Father. He went alone to a quiet place to pray. He stayed focused on His purpose for coming to earth. He trusted God’s good heart. He worked and rested for the coming Kingdom of God.

Jesus took time and went away from the crowds and chaos to meet with His Father.

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Jesus only Jesus. Tackle one thing at a time. Remind yourself as a child of God that the power of the Holy Spirit lives in you. Stuff is just stuff. God knows that we are made from dust. God has a plan for your life and that might include exasperating children, broken appliances, and an overflowing schedule. His purpose is not to irritate me, it is to remind me of my need for Him. He wants to draw you near to Him. In my weakness, He wants me to rely on His strength, to accomplish my tasks for His glory. He wants others to see Jesus in you. He wants you and me to trust Him for our daily bread.

He calls us to sabbath and rest. Not with more rules and regulations and to-do lists. But with rest, remembering that His yoke is easy and His burden light. May you find shelter under His wings tonight.

#write28days #HopeWriterLife #JesusOnlyJesus