Chasing out the Gray

The sky has been very gray lately. And I started to feel the gray settle into my heart and soul. But I also reminded myself of truth. Beauty is everywhere, you just have to look for it. You have to try a new perspective, see things in a different light. Find beauty in all things.

I’ve been feeling discouraged with my lack of writing, my overwhelmed schedule, my parenting mishaps, my time management, etc. And even as I type that I realize the focus is all wrong, it was all about me. In my search for beauty, for light, for goodness, I realized that it is all around me. God’s gifts are always there.

He showers us with good things, with abundant life. He gives the gifts of cloudy skies with shades of blue and purple. He gives a dusting of snow on all the trees and pretty scenes in grocery store parking lots. He gives wide open roads and bright blue skies on a Friday afternoon. He gives bright sunshine when waiting for your kids in the high school parking lot after a long day of work. He gives Saturday morning sunbaths to my plant corner. He gives stoplight sunshine breaking through city buildings and dirty car windows.

He gives encouraging Psalms in the morning. Phone calls with friends. Encouraging prayer time with church family. Good conversations with my kids. Family traditions. Brisk long walks. Warm hats and mittens. Good food. Laughter.

It’s so easy for me to get discouraged in the long winter months. It’s seems easier to focus on the negative, the early dark hours, the hard and challenging moments, the mistakes of myself and others. It’s easy to be critical and complain. But it’s also surprisingly easy to take five minutes and count your blessings. To ask God to open your eyes to His good, good gifts. To stop and reflect on God’s love and faithfulness. To remember that His grace is greater than all I am struggling with.

“I will sing about the Lord’s faithful love forever. I will proclaim your faithfulness to all generations with my mouth” (or with my pen). “Happy are the people who know the joyful shout; Lord, they walk in the light from your face” Psalm 89:1,15.

“Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; proclaim his deeds among the peoples. …tell about all his wondrous works! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his face always” Psalm 105:1-2,4.

Share His Love.
Proclaim His Faithfulness.
Give Thanks.
Lean on His Strength.
Walk in His Light.
Seek His Face.
Rejoice in the Lord.

#Psalms #ChasingOutTheDark #1000gifts #ChooseJoy #JesusOnlyJesus #theStoriesBetweenUs #HopeWriterLife

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In search of hope and peace

This tree feels like a picture of my life… things started but not finished. Two weeks ago we put up our tree. And put on the lights and a handful of ornaments. Putting the angel on top of the tree is supposed to be the last step. But we never really finished putting ornaments on the tree… and we kinda gave up.

And still the angel just sits there next to the tree instead of on the top. So this is Christmas.

My advent devotional sits untouched. God’s Word changes not. Jesus hasn’t moved. I have let myself get distracted, weighted down by anxious thoughts. I have been easily frustrated, carrying concerns that seem trivial, revisiting sorrow and situations that I thought I had processed and overcome.

I have tried time and time again to pick up my Advent devotional book. To light a candle daily in an effort to slow down and pay attention. To notice the moon, sunsets, and deer in my yard. I have had moments of joy, hope, peace. But then I lose my patience, I snap at my kids, I cry over iced over windshields. And I forget to give thanks in all things.

Even when I am unfaithful in hope. Unfaithful in expecting, unfaithful in waiting. He is always faithful in coming. God changes not. Jesus always comes. Jesus is always here, always near. Heaven come down. Emmanuel. God with us.

What season are you in?
Is it a season of hope, expectation, longing? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of grief, loss, uncertainty? Jesus will meet you there.
Is it a season of peace, joy, love? Jesus will meet you there, too.

#Hope #theStoriesBetweenUs #HopeWriter #Advent #Jesus #GodWithUs #HeavenComeDown #Christmas

Giving Thanks on Voting Day

I walked to my polling station this afternoon when I got home from work. I love that I can do it. I won’t necessarily do it every year, but today the sun was shining, it was just over 50 degrees and it’s only a 10 minute walk. My body needed the movement. My soul needed the slower pace. My lungs needed the fresh air.

All things I give thanks for. Although now that I’m back at home, I wish I had taken the walk slower. I wish I had stopped to take pictures. I wish I hadn’t rushed out, but talked longer with one of my new neighbors, that I had taken deeper breaths, taken a different route home, paid more attention to the setting sun.

It’s November, I’m still giving thanks because it is all I can do when the negative, discouraging thoughts try to win, when the darkness overwhelms, when I feel like I’m always running behind, when I let other people’s choices affect me and my mood. When I start fretting and spend too much time looking at all the hard stuff and evil going on in the world, the negativity that swirls around me, I stop and take instruction from God’s Word (Psalm 37)

Trust in the LORD,
and do good;
Delight thyself also in the LORD;
Commit thy way unto the LORD;
Trust also in him;
Rest in the LORD,
wait patiently for him.

And I give thanks for the walk, for my neighborhood, for choices in voting, for a sticker reward, for the sun setting through the trees. I trust God with the outcome. I commit my day to Him (over and over again). And I ask Him to show me where I need to rest more and wait patiently for Him.

It’s a process, sometimes a daily battle to delight in Him, to commit my way (my future, my kids’ lives, my dreams, etc.) to the LORD. I preach to myself and I write out my wrestling (and occasionally I share my writing with you). And I keep coming back to Jesus because He can be trusted. He is always faithful. I find my HOPE in Him. His yoke is easy and His burden light. He will carry me.

#LiturgyoftheLittleThings #itssimplytuesday #ChasingOutTheDark #minisitryofpayingattention #HopeWriterLife #vote #ElectionDay #LoveWhereYouLive #givethanks #writeyourheartout

Thanksgiving Challenge

It’s been over 10 years since I started counting the gifts with @AnnVoskamp. There have been times when it was a consistent 3 gifts a day, or the one time we did #1000gifts in 30 days. There have also been seasons, months even when I was not counting the gifts. But always the gifts are there and always the gifts are good.

I’m starting to count again… this time 1,000 gifts in just 3 weeks, which means approximately 50 gifts a day. It’s not always easy, and there will be repeats.

It’s amazing what catches your eye when you are looking for gifts. Like the beauty I found in the city skyline on the way to work this morning. Or that actually view of the mountainside from work.

At work, it seems harder to find the gifts, but they are still there. The warmth of the sun filling the office, Dropbox, when your co-worker buys you lunch.

Then there is the delightful surprise of a little dump truck strapped to the end of a long flatbed truck in the lane next to me on the way home. The text from my son informing me of the candy bar he bought me waiting for me at home.

And even though I know it means more yard work this weekend, I even found gratitude in the carpet of leaves on the patio. And the wind chimes, and sitting outside in short sleeves on this November afternoon.

The time change happens yet again this weekend, and I feel the same struggle settling in—where can I find the light when it’s dark at 5pm? I counted lots of gifts today, but I also snapped at my kids more than once, I am going to bed with a headache, and I’m letting worry distract me from some of the good I see in the world.

So I write, because in addition to a #1000gifts challenge, I am working to WRITE every day in November. And I remember that God gives good gifts and God deserves our praise. And we hold pain and joy together. And I’m not perfect and life isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty darn great when you pay attention to the little things and give thanks, and when you keep perspective on God’s plan for your life. He came so that we could have abundant life. It’s already here, we just have to notice it.

#LiturgyoftheLittleThings #ChasingOutTheDark #minisitryofpayingattention #HopeWriterLife #writeyourheartout #writeitgirl

Gray Day November

The calendar turned from October to November and overnight it seemed, the sky turned gray and dreary. I could barely keep my eyes open at work and I was in a slump. The trees still have some color hanging on, but for some reason it just didn’t look as stunning today. It rained, and rained some more. My heart and soul followed suit and it felt like depression was settling in.

It’s still autumn, it’s still pretty out, the sun even peeked through the clouds briefly, but my focus was/is off. I was tired… but I was also grumpy. And it really does have an effect on your day. Complaining breeds complaining.

And gratitude breeds gratitude. I could barely keep my eyes open because late nights and junk food and rainy skies, so I came home and took a nap… a 22 minute power nap. And then I got up and had a snack. (Thank you, Prophet Elijah for your example in 1 Kings 19). And, then I accomplished a few things and felt better.

Does my heart still feel a little off? Am I still tired? Do I want to hibernate at home instead of going to church small group? Yes, Yes, and Yes. Am I dreading the time change and more dark nights? Also, yes. But I listen to my body, I listen to my heart, and then I go to the Word of God for truth.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance.” Psalms‬ ‭42‬:‭5‬ ‭

And I remind myself, as David did. I also can put my HOPE in God. I can trust my Creator. He is faithful. He is true. His lovingkindness is always present in my life. So I look up at the gloomy skies and I pay attention to the world around me. And I know that Jesus is here in the every day ordinary, in the sunshine and the rain, in the good and the hard, in the joy and the sorrow.

And I go to small group and eat too many carbs, and give thanks for fellowship, friendship, and prayer. And as we leave, I look up and see the beautiful cloudy sky with the light shining through. Always the LIGHT shines, we just have to notice it.

Where is the light shining in your darkness today? Where can you see Jesus in the every day ordinary? Can I just encourage you to keep looking up?

#HopeWriterLife #HopeinGod #JesusOnlyJesus #November #givethanks #theministryofpayingattention #skypeople #chasingoutthedark #writeyourheartout

Letting Go of Stuff

Sometimes we hang on to stuff just a little too long. It may be good stuff that just no longer fits where we are right now in life. Like these ice pops. They’ve been taking up space in my house for well over a year! A reminder of days long past when my kids and the neighbors would be running around all summer and I would have a cold, refreshing treat ready.

They’ve been collecting dust (or ice crystals as the case may be) in our extra freezer for a while, and I just kept moving them around the shelves or door buckets just hoping that maybe someday they would come in handy for a summer party or youth group activity. But I’ve been lying to myself. Nobody remembers they are in there. Nobody really likes them on a regular basis anymore. Nobody reaches for them.

I almost threw them out on moving day (2 months ago), but thought, “Oh that will be a nice treat for the movers if it’s a hot day.” But alas, they got packed in the coolers and moved without being touched. AND they got unpacked into my regular every day freezer. It took me TWO MONTHS to finally decide that they just don’t fit and they don’t serve a purpose and I’m cleaning out the clutter.

The same could be said for the books we cleaned out for our yard sale, the clothes that no longer fit, the broken toys and kids games with missing pieces. The point is things that once filled a need, had a useful purpose, brought us joy … no longer do. And it’s okay to clean things out.

It’s also okay to clean out routines that aren’t working anymore, the job that has become dead end, friendships that have run their course. It’s okay to let go of good things that are getting in the way of long term goals, spiritual growth, deeper relationships.

I looked at this sink full of melting ice pops and realized God was even speaking to me through frozen sugar water. I know He wants me to make room for kingdom work—writing, relationships, more time in His word, paying attention to the ordinary, reaching my circle of influence.

I’ve been feeling stuck lately, wanting to focus more on my writing, but not sure what needs to be cleaned out of the clutter of my schedule. Obviously, I can’t drop my job, or helping my kids, or feeding my family, etc. but I can ask for help and delegate, and I can spend a whole lot less time on my phone and a whole lot more time with Jesus and giving thanks in all things.

“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us,”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬

So yes, get rid of the stuff that is weighing you down, confess and forsake the besetting sins, and put your focus on Jesus and how He would have you work and live for God’s Kingdom here on earth.

What is a hindrance in your life? What needs cleaned out of “your freezer” to make space for more useful, more Kingdom-minded things?

Saving My Life: Autumn Edition

What is saving my life right now? It can really be wrapped up in a single answer:

Looking for Jesus in everyday moments

The grass you water flourishes. The books you read, the focus of your studies determines what you learn. How you spend your time shows your priorities. What you focus on becomes clearer. And when I look for Jesus in everyday moments, I realize He is always right here with me, even when I am not paying attention. When I am looking, I see Him in every moment—good, hard, everyday, supernatural.

Writing is saving my life. As always, I do not spend enough time writing either, but when I sit down, God gives me words. And when ideas come to mind, I am trying to write them down in the moment so I can go back later. I see Jesus in the gift of writing and in the words He gives me and how those stories can encourage others.

Chocolate is saving my life—Dark chocolate of course, chocolate mint s’mores, chocolate peanut butter candy bars, hot chocolate. Just a little treat and always in moderation. God created cacao beans, God created the people who mixed the right amount of sugar with the right amount of cocoa. So yes, I can look for Jesus even in my chocolate treats.

The sky is saving my life. Once again, the ministry of paying attention to the world around you, paying attention to God’s creation, to seeing the sky and how it’s always changing, and to think on the millions of people that are sharing this same big sky. A gift from our creator, a reminder that He is intimately involved in our lives, that He cares about little old me spinning on this tiny circle He created in the whole wide universe.

And I see the sky best when I’m walking. So walking is saving my life. I wish I was walking more. Walking at least once a week is not much but it is always helpful for a fresh perspective, a little exercise, and shaking up my routine. Walking helps me see Jesus in my neighborhood, in my friendships, in the changing colors of autumn leaves.

Deep breaths are saving my life. Taking a deep breath slows me down, it stretches my neck and back muscles, it fills my lungs with oxygen. Deep breaths when life is going great helps me to stay present in the moment, to appreciate the gifts, and to give thanks to God who gives good gifts. Deep breaths when life is overwhelming and hectic helps me to pause and remember what is important in the grand scheme of things. To remember that God is present and carries us through that hard stuff.

Good food is saving my life, because good food is often accompanied by good friends and that is a lifesaver, too. Church small group, Sunday afternoon pizza, a random weeknight soup. All feed my soul and my body. Jesus is present in community and in sharing the table with others. God created us to need nourishment both with food and with friends and I’m thankful for how those things are saving my life right now.

What is saving YOUR life right now? Where do you see Jesus in the good and in the hard?

#savingmylife #autumnedition #HopeWriterLife #1000gifts #skypeople #theministryofpayingattention #writeyourheartout #amwriting #JesusOnlyJesus

Under the Tuesday Sky

There is something about a simple Tuesday sky. About taking a moment to stop and see the world from a different perspective. Look up, look around, look out. To see the vast expanse of God’s creation and remember that He cares about individual me down here. He is creator of the universe and He is creator of me.

And take a moment to look at the sky and remember that my “neighbor” is anyone else on this whole round planet that is looking at the same sky. (Thanks @shannanwrites for teaching me that). And when Amazon fails me and I don’t get a copy of my new favorite book on actual release day, I can find joy in the anticipation of its arrival tomorrow 🤞 #startwithhello

I look at the sky for a brief reset, a respite from the overwhelming noise of the world around me, to find peace in the blue sky and whispy clouds, and changing colors of the leaves. To remember the beauty of autumn and all we can learn in this season of letting go, preparing for a winter’s rest, for renewal.

When I open my eyes to the beauty around me, it becomes easier to find. When I dwell on God’s goodness, when I am looking for His good gifts, I begin to see them everywhere. When I allow a shift in perspective, I find that it is much more beneficial to focus on the good, than to complain about the negative.

Life isn’t perfect, sometimes the skies are stormy, grief can overwhelm, and often life just isn’t fair. Some days you fight with your spouse. Some days your kids give you all the attitude or make choices you don’t like. Or you lose your job. Or a friend. Or the paycheck doesn’t make it to the end of the month. And you just cry out to God, “Why?”

And then you look at the sky and take a moment to seek His face and remember that He will hear my voice when I call. He will be gracious to me and answer me. And to stand on the promise that I am certain I will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living (Psalm 27). The splendor of the sky is just a fraction of the splendor of His glory, His holiness.

So we just keep looking up and giving thanks.

#itssimplytuesday #Skypeople #hopewriterlife #Psalms #chasingoutthedark #writeyourheartout

Friendship, Community, Being Human

Sometimes, being human can be hard. I think that’s one of the evidences that God created us for community. We rely on each other, we feed each other, we encourage one another. We hold space, we bear burdens, we stand up for one another. We exhort, we hold each other accountable. Something beautiful happens as we share the burden of being human together (as says, @ShannanWrites)

Shannan Martin is my community/neighborhood guru… she’s written a few books on the subject and has another one coming out next week (preorder Start With Hello now for goodies). It was her book #theministryofordinaryplaces that gave me the encouragement to open my home (almost) every Sunday afternoon to mostly church friends, but sometimes strangers. She taught me the importance of finding beauty in the sky and also unexpected places (city streets, alleyways, power lines, etc). And how community and friendship and neighbors can be so many different and amazing things.

And this week, community looked like going to my friends’ house and trying something new, something “trending” — a #butterboard and Walmart’s everything bread. It looked like a $3 sweet potato pie from the discount rack and fingers crossed that it would actually taste good. It was playing a card game and lots of laughter, and taking a walk in her neighborhood. It was staying late and being rewarded with the delightful sunset.

It’s the gift of sharing 15 years of friendship and making new memories, of grieving the losses and struggles over the years, celebrating the successes, and listening to the dreams and planning for the future. It’s talking faith and beliefs, and where we’ve come from. It’s holding space for our imperfections and giving thanks for sharing life. And for remembering that friendships ebb and flow. The magic is that we are still friends!

#friendship #hopewriterlife #JesusOnlyJesus #chasingoutthedark #1000gifts #writeyourheartout

Settling in, Paying attention, Giving thanks

It’s 8pm on move-in day and I am exhausted. There are boxes everywhere, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude toward all the wonderful people that helped us throughout the day… We own a lot of stuff. So I take a moment and step outside. I look around at these new surroundings and everywhere I turn I see houses. A far cry from the wide open spaces we just left behind. And then I look up and thank God for the little love note He sends me in a window of blue sky peeking through the forest of trees. Wide open spaces of a different kind.

It’s 7:15am and I am late for work. I may live 5 minutes closer, but it’s only day 2 and I still can’t find the right shoes, or the snacks to pack in my lunch, or which drawer we put the silverware in. I rinse my coffee cup (I can always find one of those) and look out my kitchen window, and there is my first wildlife sighting in the new home. And I stop and just grin big at the deer. I will never get tired of the deer. “Won’t HE do it!”

It’s 4pm on a Sunday afternoon, and we are just returning from a long walk around the neighborhood, getting to know the area. As we come around our front/side yard (we live on a corner and I can’t figure out what’s front, side, or back), I notice ivy everywhere, and a splash of Queen Anne’s lace. And once again I am in awe of God’s creation, the way He meets me where I’m at, and how He connects my growing up memories of flowers and my love of ivy (first married kitchen theme) with present day.

It’s 5pm and in between the sounds of the evening traffic, I suddenly hear church bells ringing. And I smile. Year two of marriage found us living practically in the backyard of an Orthodox Church. I remember those bells. And once again, I am almost in the backyard of a local church, and the 5 o’clock bells are just one of the many blessings I’m counting in this new, unfamiliar place. And as these bells play familiar hymns, I thank Jesus for the gift of music.

It’s 6:30am, I am settling into routines. I take my coffee to the front room to enjoy with some morning Psalms, and the window view shows a soft misty fog and another deer sighting…. This time a doe and her fawn.

It’s 1pm and as I’m gathering pizza ingredients and prepping for Sunday lunch with friends, I look out the window again (I love the windows) and spot a chipmunk finishing his Sunday brunch. Various shells, seeds, and nuts scattered all over the stone steps, remnants of the way my God cares for the little creatures, too.

It’s 8:30pm Labor Day weekend and we settle around the Solo Stove on our new patio and light the fire, enjoy the view, and of course, roast marshmallows, and I smile and give thanks for the little things. The things that are different and the things that stay the same. The way that life is what we make of it and we can choose to focus on the blessings because they are abundant and overflowing and when I focus on the good stuff, when I shout His praises, when I pay attention to the ways He is present in every moment and area of my life, I just can’t believe how much my God loves me.

And how personal He is. Trains rumbling by in the background, sunrises and moonrises through the trees instead of over the mountain, wind chimes, shops in walking distance, the ever present squirrels and chipmunks, the list goes on and on and I give thanks.

#hopewriterlife #Hope #JesusOnlyJesus #justwrite #amwriting #chasingoutthedark #1000gifts #theministryofpayingattention #theministryofordinaryplaces #writeyourheartout #change #skyappreciationpost #startwithhello